Sun. Dec 22nd, 2024

On my recent trip to Pennsylvania I noticed fireworks stores everywhere. From mom and pop shacks to some as big as a Wal-Mart. I decided to have a look for myself and figure out what is going on there.

I walked in to a highway shop and was greeted by Lou the Firecracker King, sitting in a big easy chair in the middle of the store. He immediately popped right up asked for my ID and told me that Pennsylvania residents cannot buy fireworks in Pennsylvania. They have to go out of state to buy them. I asked if I could shoot off the fireworks I purchased here and he said no, that I could only shoot off fireworks in Pennsylvania that I bought elsewhere.

Confused, I asked why? He said that I ask to many questions. He then changed the subject and told me reality shows and that he and his wife watch fireworks from airplanes, that he shoots 150 squirrels a month to feed his fox (simulating for me the sound when the squirrel gets hit). He even showed me the bullets he uses. Lou also has a bet with his wife to become friends with the 6 toed stray cat under the shop.

Then a guy walked into his store and Lou yelled at him for asking directions. He told me that all fireworks are the same, just different packages, and 2000 tractors trailer used to go by his place now but now there is a 200 limit and some firecrackers can get you in more trouble with the law than crack cocaine and lastly Walter Cronkite was there once.

I asked him if many bodybuilders come into his store. He just laughed and showed me the door. Strange but fascinating man. Thank you Firecracker Lou.

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