Despite having the “perfect body”, Heather Mowry became so obsessed with her extreme fitness regime that she weighed herself six times a day.
The 35-year-old has paraded her sculpted body on stage at 13 bikini shows since she started competing two years ago, but she found chasing her dream physique started affecting both her mental and physical health.
After her first competition, Heather developed bulimia – an eating disorder which involves binging and purging.
The mum-of-two said: “People become addicted to the look of being stage ready but being stage ready isn’t healthy.
“There are people like me that are chasing the idea of a perfect body and that’s when it becomes unhealthy.
“I starting noticing my negative body image more after I did my first show.”
Heather, from Maine, US, also couldn’t see past her “flaws” and would stare at her reflection for hours.
She said: ”When I look in the mirror I see flaws. I see the flaws that in my head other people don’t have.
“I see wrinkles, bloated belly, saggy arms, stretch marks, fat thighs, cellulite, a flat butt, old dry skin.
“When I look in the mirror a lot of the times I am only looking to find those flaws.
“I think I’m seeing my true self and somehow the way others might see me is a smoke and mirrors show.”
Heather was suffering from body dysmorphia – an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of themselves and no confidence.
It stopped her from wanting to leave the house, socialise, or even wear her gym clothes.
She added: “If its summer and its beach and pool weather I will just go to my mother’s pool so no one will see me in a bathing suit.
“I don’t think it started to affect my bikini shows until this last year.
“I now am starting to feel like I am not good enough no matter how hard I diet and work toward my stage lean body.
“I have learned ways to mask my flaws to make me feel comfortable. But during off season when I tend to put on normal health weight I just go into hiding.”
Now Heather uses her Instagram to warn others of the dangerous side of bodybuilding.
Heather said: ”I tell people about the ups and downs and I try to be as honest about it as I can. I don’t sugar coat it.
“People do reach out to me about their same issues online. I have a small group that I can vent to and express my feelings to and they won’t judge me.
“We give each other pep talks.”
Heather’s last show was in October and she’s decided to put any future competitions on hold for the time being.
Although the fitness industry shattered her body confidence, Heather admitted that there were some positives.
“I wouldn’t say I regret competing at all as it has formed many great friendships and I have met so many people that I admire,” she said. “But I wish I had just known how difficult the mental aspect of it was.”
“I haven’t exactly accepted my body. I just try to improve the way I see it,” Heather added.
Courtesy of: Daily Star