I’m big into lean protein lately, and I came up with this recipe by rummaging through my fridge and cabinet. It’s delicious and healthy and brown. I love brown.
Ingredients:
- 3 cans black beans (drained through a sieve or comb)
- 1 pound London broil, top or bottom round
- 1 large onion
- 2 stalks celery
- 1 bell pepper
- 2 jalapeno peppers (or just add hot sauce, you’re call buddy)
- 1 cup red wine (open a bottle, use a cup, sell the rest to a minor)
- 1 gallon di-Hydrogen Oxide (H2O, either from sink or local stream)
- 2 Tbsp Sodium Hydroxide (NaOH, either from the girl with the umbrella or a shaker)
- Herbs and spices (I used Oregano and Sage, but it would be good with Basil, Thyme, and Rosemary too)
Basic Instructions: Mix all ingredients, cook, eat.
Detailed Instructions: Trim the beef of most visible fat, and cut into chunks with a knife or other sharp object. If you are too young or old to use sharp objects, have your mother or nurse do it for you, or just use your teeth. Chop the onion, celery, and peppers into 1/2″ pieces, and place them gently into a metal pot that you found on the roof. Add red wine, and heat on medium until the vegetables have softened to the consistency of your favorite stuffed animal. Add beef with a thrusting motion from overhead, trying to aim for the pot. Continue simmering for several minutes or until Oprah comes on. Now is a good time to pause and consider the significance of water. Now add the water and beans to the pot, along with all remaining ingredients, and anything else you can find lying around. Simmer on low for about 2 hours, or until Oprah ends.
Serve in hollow turtle shells with Flintstone vitamin garnishes. Serves 42.
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