Eat Dirt

When my young sons were exploring the streets of Brooklyn, I couldn’t help but wonder how good crushed rock or dried dog droppings could taste when delicious mashed potatoes were routinely rejected.
Since all instinctive behaviors have an evolutionary advantage or they would not have been retained for millions of years, chances are that this one too has helped us survive as a species. And, indeed, accumulating evidence strongly suggests that eating dirt is good for you.
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EAT DIRT! That used to be an insult (maybe in 1940), but now it can be considered a request to improve your health. When your friend orders a double bacon cheeseburger (or if they are completely hopeless, The Baconator), just reach over, grab them by both shoulders, shake them as hard as you can, and scream “EAT DIRT!” When you see a homeless person lying on a park bench with a coffee cup full of change, scoop up a handful of dirt, drop it in his cup, and whisper into his smelly ear, “pssstt…eat dirt”. When a child falls face first into a puddle of mud, hurry over and hold their head down, and kindly invite them to eat dirt.