I’ve resisted writing about Ted Haggard’s tawdry tale of debauchery until now. Although I’ll admit that there is a certain pleasure in seeing such a hypocrite exposed, the situation mostly just makes me sad. It is deeply distressing that there are religious leaders such as Mr. Haggard whose zealotry actually springs from self-hatred.
But I felt I had to write about Haggard in response to reports that he would undergo spiritual restoration – a kind of spiritual rehab. The program of restoration that Christian fundamentalists employ in such cases actually shares some similarities with 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, a process that I obviously believe in deeply.
As reported on CNN and elsewhere, Haggard’s spiritual restoration plan will consist of four basic steps. Somehow, I doubt that I will be on the short list for Haggard’s recovery team but here is how I would advise him to undertake the steps suggested by his community.
Submit to the authority of spiritual counselors
Ted, only submit to those who are accepting of all people, regardless of their race, income, gender or sexual preference. In a religious organization that condemns so many, you will find many people like yourself who cannot be honest about who they are. Otherwise, why would they be so judgmental toward others?
Admit your sins
Ted, you need to keep an open mind about what sin really is. You believe homosexuality to be a sin but it is fundamentally who you are. How are you to recover through self-hatred? Living a lie is sinful while accepting yourself is recovery.
Make restitution
Ted, you certainly have harmed your family by living a lie and I know you are eager to make restitution to them. But you have also deeply harmed countless young gay people by telling them that their identity is sinful and, even worse, changeable. You doubtless have tried for years to repress your identity as a gay man and know that it is inherently who you are and who you will always be. You can make restitution by accepting yourself and speaking publicly about how harmful it is to live in the closet.
Be humbled
Well, Ted, you’ve got this one covered.
But I fear that Ted’s spiritual rehabilitation program will not be particularly effective. Apparently Jimmy Swaggert took these same steps after being caught with a prostitute but later “relapsed.” Dr. James Kennedy of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church said recently on CNN that Haggard “…must get back into church simply as a member of the congregation…I would say it’s going to be an uphill climb.”
I truly don’t mean to make light of Mr. Haggard’s downfall. It seems likely that, in addition to being a self-hating gay man, he has a substance abuse problem and needs help. It is available to him if he embraces rigorous honesty. I pray that he accepts who he is and learns that it is possible to live a life of integrity as a gay man.
